CHARLTON HESTON IS AN OVER-THE-HILL BURNED-OUT QUARTERBACK FOR THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS IN "NUMBER ONE" (1969)

 
"Hup, hup, I should have stayed on the set of Beneath The Planet Of The Apes!" 

Number One had all the makings of a character-study classic but unfortunately came out as a misfire from start to finish. It's a film that really if you were to remove the backdrop has very little to do with the game of football. It's misguided, at times aimless and suffers from a lackluster supporting cast that leaves Heston to fend for himself and help us connect the dots with his character flaws. His being an alcoholic and womanizer should normally be interesting stuff in contrast to a sports hero but all that stuff just doesn't connect here. 

The movie's one saving grace is the fact that the real New Orleans Saints at the time gave their full blessing and the players and the facilities are used nicely throughout. Still, given the year, subject matter and a superstar leading man, this is a huge disappointment. Had all those things gone the other way it really could have been an Easy Rider of football. Not only does it not work as a character study, there's no action either. Heston once said that Call Of The Wild was the one film he should never had made and knowing the story behind that West German atrocity I can dig it but he should have added this to the list as well. 

Currently streaming free on Tubi.  1.75 stars/5

ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL IS AN IOWA FARMBOY WHO FINDS HIMSELF ON THE RUN IN THE LOS ANGELES UNDERGROUND NEW WAVE MUSIC SCENE, HE'S WAY "OUT OF BOUNDS" (1986)

 
 

No longer the geeky and frail looking Breakfast Club boy, Anthony Michael Hall must have found himself in a sort of no-man's land for actors in 1986. No longer able to be cast as a leading teen but not yet having found his footing for adult roles. Enter the action thriller vehicle "Out Of Bounds," a misfire of sorts but in the same way 1988's Bright Lights, Big City was for Michael J Fox, there's good and bad here. Fox, however, has always been capable of carrying a whole picture by himself - Hall, I'm not so sure.

The bad - a overly familiar eighties story about a misplaced bag at LAX, the good guys spend the rest of the film running from the bad guys who want their drugs, jewelry, whatever, back. Hall just doesn't have that appeal factor in this and there's a palatable disconnect between him and the other actors as well as crew. So the story goes he was such a dick on set that the crew nicknamed him "the brat."

The good - some awesome LA locations, lots of em from downtown to Silverlake to Hollywood and more. A good deal of the chase takes place in the underground new wave scene at the time and a cameo by the now legendary Siouxsie & The Banshees band totally makes the backdrop of this film one of the big pluses. Not a bad one, worth at least one watch, Out Of Bounds just entered the streaming world and is on Tubi currently.  2.75 stars/2.75

'60's WAR EPICS, YOU GOTTA LOVE 'EM - TWO STREAMING FREE ON YOU TUBE "THE GUNS OF NAVARONE" (1961) & STEVE MCQUEEN IN "THE SAND PEBBLES" (1966)

 

Going out for a night at the movies back in the sixties meant something just a little different than it does these days. As Jack Black would say in School Of Rock, "the man" destroyed that too. In a lot of ways the 60's "epics" were their own artform and a lot like going to a play. You had a classy presentation with an intermission where you could break and grab a snack and a typical running time of three hours. Some were great (Its A Mad Mad Mad World) and some were chock full of filler (55 Days At Peking.) And of course, war films contributed heavily to the epic art form. 

This month You Tube has two great ones streaming free. The Guns Of Navarone is probably Gregory Peck's next best outing to To Kill A Mockingbird. Here he plays a commander in charge of leading a dangerous charge on a Greek island and to specifically take out a pair of large nuclear canons. Supported by a nice cast including David Niven, Niven's role here is unusual for him. He says very little until the very end when he goes off on a tirade ringing in his money shot. The movie's pace is nice and steady and while the effects in both of these movies are dated, the adventure element is not compromised. Great war film, one of the best.  4.0 stars/5

An unusual Steve McQueen flick to say the least, The Sand Pebbles finds him playing a rebellious Navy machinist aboard a river gunboat in 1920's China. He eventually defies orders and saves a missionary group amid conflicts with local warlords, communism, and his superiors. The film was a big success at the box office and nominated for eight Oscars. While I like the film, I don't consider it McQueen's best by a longshot and there is a good amount of fluff/filler in this one.  3.5 stars/5

Guns Of Navarone Full Movie

The Sand Pebbles Full Movie

THE BLACK PHONE (2022) - BEWARE THE GRABBER AND HIS DINGY BASEMENT IN NEW STEPHEN KING FLICK FROM MAKERS OF DOCTOR SLEEP

 

It's here, it's hot and it's a pretty darn good horror flick. I don't like it as much as Nightmare Alley or Last Night In SoHo, two recent favorites, but Black Phone does deliver the goods and to it's credit doesn't take any needless detours with subplots. A boy is kidnapped by the Grabber (Ethan Hawke) and the phone on the wall begins to ring with calls from children the Grabber previously murdered. They give him various clues on how to get the f out of there before Grabber gets to play his favorite game called "Naughty Boy."

A good movie starts with a good story and nothing's changed about that. King just keeps handing the cinematic world one gem after another and his diversity in using directors usually keeps things interesting. The acting here is all good, Mason Thames who plays the boy is quite good for his first outing. Again to it's credit the film's ending is neat, compact, horrific but not bogged down with twists. Black Phone isn't an horror classic but it is a fun and worthy entry in a genre so overplayed. Still out there in the theaters as well as Peacock on an exclusive and VOD only to buy right now.  3.0 stars/5